Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Devise A Safety Plan

It is critical that you develop a comprehensive plan prior to leaving an abusive situation and . It is similarly crucial to have a plan to increase your safety, and that of your children, for after you leave the abusive situation.

Create an Escape Kit

• Pack daily necessities such as medication, cash, clothing, diapers etc.
• Important documents such as birth certificates, social security cards, passports.
• Valuables, jewelry or photos.

Before You Leave

• Make arrangements that, in the event of an emergency, you and your children can stay with someone you trust. Preferably someone that your partner doesn’t know.
• Ask neighbors to call 911 if they hear suspicious noises coming from your home.
• Know important telephone numbers (police, friends, hotline, shelter).
• If you sense a violent episode is imminent, and it is safe to do so, disable or hide weapons.
• Teach your children to dial 911
• Practice getting yourself, and your children, out of your home safely.
• Advise your employer/coworkers to never speak with your abuser without first checking with you, and to never give information about you to anyone.
• Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, neighbors, your children’s school officials, your employer, etc. when you need the police.
• Open a savings account, in your name only, at a bank different from where your abuser’s account(s) is.

After You Leave

• Get a restraining order against your abuser and inform family and friends that you have one.
• Keep a copy of your restraining order with you at all times.
• Give a copy to the local police, your employer and officials at your children’s school.
• Avoid stores, banks, restaurants, theaters, etc. you used to frequent when you were with your partner.
• If your abuser violates the restraining order, call the police.
• Have a backup plan in the event the police do not respond quickly!
  Change your locks and secure your residence.